Ask Maggie: Easy steps to winning your dream valentine!

Taking your questions, OHS

First, your dream date must know that you exist. I recommend ‘unfollowing’ and then ‘refollowing’ them on twitter so that they remember you’re alive. If you feel like your crush still has no idea who you are, feel free to favorite a few of their older tweets to jog their memory (and boost their ego!) If you don’t have a twitter, you’d probably actually have to tell them that you think they’re funny and that’s risky- I recommend getting a twitter.

Now that you’re on their radar, you need to leave an impression. This is as simple as figuring out their daily schedule, finding the opportune moment to approach them, stepping in front of them, and tripping. Yes, I know what you’re thinking “Um jeez louise man that’s embarrassing I might as well eat my heart out with ice cream and Taylor Swift music and cry about never having a date ever again.” But hold tight. They may be laughing at or pitying you, but they are (more importantly) noticing you.

Now it’s time to speak with them. Don’t know what to talk about? Simple! Go to their Facebook page and scroll through their likes. You’ll find anything from favorite movies and foods to professions and aspirations. It’s creepy, but brilliant. Use this all seeing eye to strike up new conversations. “Hiya there, how are you? I just love Star Trek, an American science fiction entertainment franchise created by Gene Roddenberry and currently under the ownership of CBS and Paramount, haha don’t you?” Of course they do. You checked.

Lastly, all you need to do is ask them on that Valentine’s Day date!

Through your conversation with them, you find out that their favorite TV show is American Horror Story? Take them on a wild adventure recreating season two. They love the Beatles? Invite them over to jam out to Help! while dressing beetles up in cute little suits. They are endless ways to create a perfectly romantic evening, just be creative! Please note: Getting them to go out with you is another story.

Now that you’ve changed your persona to fit their likings and have made yourself out to be the romantic creative genius you are, you just need to maintain that image for as long as you hope to be with them!

Good luck, and have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!